Untitled - March 16, 2025
00:00:00 Unknown: Hi, I'm Denise, a mom, a wife, a business owner, a friend, a sister, a recovering perfectionist, and host of the Working Moms Redefined podcast, Thank you for being here. Let's join together in community as we break free from the mom guilt that so many of us feel and thrive in our fulfilling careers and raising good kids. We're getting real on today's episode of the Working Moms Redefined Podcast. Thank you for being here. So appreciate you pressing play and Joining us again at this point, it is a week into the podcasts being posted. When I say that I am truly humbled, it is an understatement. I promise. So much good. So many wonderful conversations have been facilitated since launching Working Moms Redefined last week. If you're joining us and you're like, wait, this just started last week. Well, it depends on what date is. We are so thankful you are here. And can't wait to learn more together to really see what is in store for us as people. And one of the biggest questions I've gotten asked, I think I referenced this, was On socials, it was the concept of men wanting to know, can I listen to these? Well, absolutely. Why not? There will be very poignant episodes that you are going to love. I literally just recorded a episode with a sexual health and wellness counselor. You guys. I learned some things and I can't wait to share that episode. And then I'm going to send it to Jeremy because I'm going to be like, we're going to talk about this stuff tonight. So join in on the conversation, whether you're a man or a woman, because right, if you think about it, When we talk through these things and I'm talking to the men here, it's like you're getting an inside look into our brains, right? You are welcome is what I love to say. Now, granted, it's just into this brain for this episode because we are talking about control. I have always. Always admired women who don't seem on the surface to have a problem with a lack of control. From my perspective, what does that look like in regards to what a lack of control looks like? I think it to me. Is apparent when someone is so free and super fun and goes with the flow and is spontaneous and It's so very beautiful. And if you're thinking, Denise, I kind of think that of you. I'm going to go ahead and pull that sheet back because yeah, I might be fun and exciting and wonderful in those Words describe who I am and who I show up as. I am here to tell you that I don't always believe that and I wish I was different at some points. Am I proud of myself? Absolutely. This is not negating my self-worth or my self-confidence because those two are different. I am sharing that. Sometimes we put a story in our minds as to who we think a person is. And then we expect that we cannot meet them on that level. We're going to cut through this crap and say we are all on the same level. And I am envious of others and the way in which they can show up that are different than how I do. While realizing there's a reason in some areas as to why I can't. However, there are areas. Or let's call them opportunities for me to grow in. One of which is being okay if plans change. How dare I? If this is you, welcome, we are the same. If this is not you, help me, help us. This is the importance of sharing in community what is Working Moms Redefined. We are going to help one another. And what did I do? I've asked my friends for help. I've asked. Experts for advice and tips and what does it look like? And one of the biggest things that I hear from these people is. Own who you are. Give yourself permission to know who you are is good enough and that it is okay. While also realizing that you have some areas to grow in. Yes. Yes, I do. So to say all of that, I'm going to tell you that one of my biggest areas of opportunity in growth Is that in letting go of plans to not have a set agenda? Because when that set agenda is, you know, logged by me. It changes. Now, not always, but from time to time it changes. When it does, whether that's two times out of ten, five times out of ten, I don't know, I haven't reflected back on that much. I lose my ever-loving mind. And if you think, Denise, what is ever-losing mind being lost meant to you? I get angry. I learned this recently. I would have thought that when plans change, and I don't like that, that I get frustrated when really as My beautiful therapist, Sarah Simonik from episode five pointed out recently is, well, it helped me clarify. Let's put it that way. She said, I wonder if it's really anger. I'm sorry. What? Anger in this body. I'm not angry. What? I don't get angry. The defensiveness went into full force, right? I was. I'm not, I don't get angry. What angry? What? My mom has talked about how her mom was angry, how her grandma was angry. Are there moments where I see my mom get angry and she suppresses it? Absolutely. We've had that conversation. Who do I think I am to think that that's not me? Well, apparently in the most recent therapy session that I had with Sarah, I thought that, how dare you? How dare you call to attention something that I know deep down inside is true. How dare you, right? Obviously I am being a little sarcastic because I needed it. And since that day, I have realized that anger is apparent. Now, the next question she asked is, well, what did your mom do with anger? We talked through that. She said, well, that doesn't really fit. What is, what did your dad do with anger? My dad is a wonderful man. He is a quiet man. And as my mom says, those are the ones you got to watch out for. You should choose, right? So as I reflect back on what does anger look like to my dad, I can't tell you many a times in which he was angry. I remember too. I can't believe that. I remember two instances when he was angry. One, when I did not take a full scholarship ride to a community college, he slammed my door so hard. That it is, the sound is burnt in my brain. And the other time was when I had to clean out the stock trailer because I lied and there was manure everywhere. He was mad. But as the age of thirty-four and two times mad, I'll call it a win or at least two times that I can remember. But he still did not use words. He didn't. And so as I take myself back to the moment when Sarah therapist asked me the question, what does your dad do with anger? I answered. He holds it in. He does nothing. And then she looked at me with her side eye view and she goes, huh? Wonder where you get it. Thanks dad. Yet, of course, now I will say that I have seen him get pretty anxious, angry around cattle and rounding them up, whether he's trying to get them in the shoot to give them. Shots or if he's trying to separate the calf from the mom, cuss words do happen. And so maybe his way to get that anger out is through cabbing. But for me, Man, I don't know if I've gotten it out. So she gave tips as to, right, go take a baseball bat and hit a pillow. And that seems silly. Okay, we'll go punch a punching bag. I don't have a punching bag, right? I came with all these excuses. And she says, you're still in denial that you even have anger in your body. I said, of course, this is new information to me today. And I started working down the thought process then of why did I not recognize this before? I didn't want to. And until you are ready. To change something in your life, you won't do it until you feel that anxiousness or that tense or that desire to make a change because you felt what happens when you don't make the change bad usually. You're not going to want to change. Well, now that she called me out in a very kind way, again, I'm putting words in a different way in which she said them. I want to do something with it now. Because then she asked me, what do you often get angry about? And at first I was like, I don't get angry. And she goes, Denise, think about what you get angry. And instantly I said, well, I get frustrated. So I've labeled anger as frustration. They're similar in nature, right? Frustration honestly just sounds better. That's why I went with it probably. And she goes, what frustrates you? And I think back and it's, it's when the kids get out of their bed. After I put them to bed, right? It's It's the moments of when Jeremy comes home and says, hey, this popped up on the calendar. We're going to go ahead and do that tonight. When in my mind, I had a peaceful evening on the couch to catch up on a little bit of work with my bra off in my plans. And I don't like it. I don't like plans changing. It produced anger. Why? That was her next question. Why? Why don't you like it? Hi, my name is Denise and I have a control problem. Shocker. I think that I control a lot of things. Ultimately, remember, I often keep in mind, doesn't apply or doesn't work or whatever you want to say. You know, when we make plans, God laughs. But darn it, if I don't just try to make him laugh each and every day apparently because I'm making those plans because it helps me. It helps me feel as if I have control. Whether it's the control and the time in which we eat, the plans that we are doing, um, when we're even doing it. Now, if I don't do this to a certain degree, function, life functions do not happen as well. I understand that. It's the anger around the lack of control that I don't like. Why? Do I like the fact that the kids get up at 645? The reason that they get up at 645 is because we need to leave the house by 730 and it takes forty-five minutes to get them fed, teeth brushed. Clothes on all of those things right, that is a control factor that I believe, as one to benefit the family, the ones I'm more so talking about are the ones that make me. Not love myself quite as much. And as I think back as to is it a control problem? Or is it a, I don't like when change happens, the loss of control, because then I can't mentally prepare for what is coming. That is somewhat of the resolution that I came to. Do I like change? No. Do I, you know, like to have the control? Yes. But it's in those moments when I can't control either and I still have somewhat of a plan or can prepare for that plan that I feel like I'm showing up as my best. For the family, for my friends, for work, for fill in the blank, right? And when I can prepare, I feel like I show up as my best. I feel like I'm the best version of myself in that moment. And honestly, it's because I want to serve the other person because they deserve me to be prepared. So I share all of that to say that I am balancing or considering that side of the conversation. And I honestly find myself using it as motivation, but I question myself as to, but aren't I good enough prepared or not prepared? With the people that I don't have to show up for in a certain way. I'm not talking about showing up at work because there are dynamics of that preparation that are absolutely necessary. I'm talking about spending time with friends. Let's use that example. I don't prepare the food or make the reservation or whatever. I feel as if I'm not doing enough because that's my contribution. I'm good at planning. What would it look like to spontaneously say at four o'clock, hey, girls, you wanna go get a drink tonight? Five o'clock, meet you there. Yes, I am the planner of my friends and I love that title because I like to create community environments. But it can happen an hour before it's supposed to happen. Or at least I'm told that it's supposed to be able to happen that way. Maybe I should do that. Maybe I should challenge myself. No, but then that's planning spontaneity. Which kind of fits with me. We'll dissect this more, I believe, as we move along today. And I find myself asking, why can't I let go of control? I don't love the word can't because I want to take it a next step and say why can I not yet let go of control because now I'm fully aware and once you are aware it's only Your responsibility to do something more about it. So now that I've identified that I don't love that I want to control a lot of things, things that maybe I'm not supposed to control from time to time, right? What does it look like if I let go of the control? A thought that I love to keep in mind is it came to me on a beach because all good things come to you on a beach, right? What if when I let go of control? I let others shine. Jeremy and I have had some hard conversations about sometimes maybe he might feel a little micromanaged. Shocker. Because systems keep things running efficiently. Yet. When I. Let go of the control. It gives other people an opportunity to shine. Maybe by me controlling situations and plans and dot, dot, dot, it's not giving an opportunity to let someone else shine. Find their joys in the planning. Right? Isn't that a crazy concept? I've been needing to delegate more at work. Delegation is hard. I think across the board delegation is hard for a lot of us. Why? Well, to be honest, I'm afraid they won't do it as well as I did or I do. Apply that to home and work because we think our way is the best way. I mean, it's a great way more oftentimes than not, but are there times when I mess up? Sure. Do I brush that under the rug a little faster probably than I might brush my coworkers or my partners? Probably. I am not so selfish to admit that. I realize sometimes that when others do wrong, I think them or view them as worse than maybe when I do them. I can't think of an instance which tells me maybe that statement's not true, but that's why we're working through this together. What's going on in your mind when you consider the thought, maybe when I let go, I'll let others shine. I apply it to our kids even. What if I let go of the 730 bedtime routine? All of the things that go with bedtime. Why do I love that? Well, first of all, let's be honest. We know the benefit of good sleep. I'm gonna give myself some grace in that. However, once in a great time, 4th of July, let's use that example. They love the fact that they get to stay up late and watch the fireworks. And when I let go of their bedtime from time to time, The shine in their eyes is proof enough. How do we find an equilibrium, if you will, between the two? It's a work in progress. And it's why the importance of community within working moms is so beautiful because Man, that's scary. Letting go to let someone else shine is scary. I encourage you to question why it might be scary for you. For me, it would mean that I have to trust and I do not trust easily. I trust wholeheartedly very few people. Why? I have asked myself the same. I encourage you to think about who do you really trust? Granted, there are a lot of bad things in this world that would cause us not to trust a lot. Yet there's also a lot of good. And if you apply the Mel Robbins concept of let them applicable specifically in this area to. When you let go of that control, you trust. And if they break your trust, you could apply, let them, let them break their trust. But you've given yourself a gift in knowing that you showed up as who you are authentically. With vulnerability, man, that's hard. Jeremy and I have discussed recently, even after ten years of marriage, our trust has not always been there. To the guys, the degree in which it's been a couple years, we've been married for ten and we feel as if we have fully trusted each other fully for one. Why? That's a story for another time. However, lies. What are you lying to yourself about? What are you lying to your partner about, to your friends about? And lies, sometimes we're, they're so integrated into who we are, we don't even know that they're a lie anymore. Oh, let's use this example, right? I love when you brush my hair. I don't know about you, but if I were to tell Sydney that when she's doing my hair with her sweaty little hands and she's trying to get that braid perfectly and I would say that, I would, that's a lie. Am I, yes, trying to make her feel really good about herself? Absolutely. But it's a lie. So then I looked in the mirror and I said, wait, am I lying? Why do I find this so irritating in others that it's so innately is in me that I think that lies are connected to change and change are connected to plans and plans are connected to trust. Or the lack thereof. Experiences. But to connect all of those dots was really beautiful. And then it caused me. To really identify where I do Have a trouble or a problem in letting go of control because when I let go, I would trust someone else. I've told you that, but then to take it an nth degree. Isn't that what relationships are all about? Friendships, work relationships, marriages. So then was I really even showing up in the way that I deep down wanted to? Crazy. This stuff is deep, man. But once you have these types of conversations. The very surface level, hey, how are you doing? What's the weather like? What are you doing this weekend? Those types of conversations hold honestly like they're kind of a waste of your time. Because you're like, let's talk about why you don't trust your partner and maybe that's why you're throwing a side eye at him when we're at the bar and he, the bar, why don't I use that example? Why at the restaurant? And he's late in getting you your drink and margarita that you've been waiting for. I've been there. I've thrown the side eye, but nobody called me out. And I'm not. Calling you out in this moment. I'm calling myself out. Yes. But I am wanting to shed light on you as to what it looks like for you to let go of control and maybe why you're struggling with it. For me, it was a lack of trust. I've let go of control in certain areas different than my mom. When we think about our past experiences as to maybe why I had some anger that Was then like hyper-focused back into that tunnel of anger, change, lack of planning, trust, all of that stuff. I think back of, okay, well, I let our kids wear whatever they want to school. Literally whatever they want. Sydney wore the same outfit three times in one week and then I had to draw the line because why? I was, I mean, it was getting balls on, right? It was, I was tired of looking at it. Yet, again, she felt really great in it. It was felt a red top, white bottoms, bell bottoms. She felt really cool in it. I squint my eyes if you're watching on YouTube. It's I'm like picturing this outfit. I am tired of seeing that thing come from the wash. But it makes her feel really good. Why do I want to control? Probably people pleasing. A lifetime of wanting to make sure that all situations were managed well and people felt really good. Why would I dare project that onto her as her responsibility? So I've let it go. They get to wear what they want. On Wacky Wednesday recently, they had their hair. Hudson had five ponytails. He learned his lesson. He came home and he said, my head hurts. And I said, yes, now you know what women go through. And that's a ponytail. I've let go of the dishes. Somewhat of the laundry. Now, if you are at a single parent stage or if your partner is not showing up the way in which you need him or her, that's a conversation that I would encourage you to have. I had to have it. I basically got to my breaking point and I said, I feel like I am doing everything while also doing The work that I love and want to do, but I can't show up 100% in both areas. I'm not your mother. I am your wife. That's a hard transition and a hard conversation to have. Preventing it from getting to a breaking point in which I learned the hard way of is my biggest tip for you. And when we had the conversation of him asking, well, what can I do to help? Check the dryer before you go poop for forty-five minutes. You might be laughing at that, but every woman who lives with a man understands the depth of frustration that comes from. How can you sit on a toilet seat for forty-five minutes? Your legs would literally go numb and you could have gotten so much done. Again, we've had this conversation. Now, has he changed the amount of time that he spends on that porcelain throne? No. And that's okay. Because before he goes and sits down for forty-five minutes and makes his toes go numb, he checks the dryer. He makes sure that if there are clothes in there, he folds them or hangs them. Or if there are clothes in the washer, he brings them over. And that makes the forty-five minutes in the bathroom not irritate me quite as much. I still can't. Come to the terms as to why that is a way in which you would spend your time, but he doesn't understand why I love to go get my nails done once a month. So to that, we will call it good. I think about when change occurs at home and I don't love it because I don't like the lack of control. However, when I have planned my work calendar very effectively, meetings are sometimes too close together, but I want to help and serve as many people as possible. Yet, when... A client or a prospective business coaching client needs to adjust their meeting. I am the first one to understand. You have a sick kid, stay home. Be the parent that you want to be and stay home with your child. Oh, you have a funeral? Absolutely. You, we will worry about this at another time. Oh, stuck in traffic and you're going to need to get a certain place in a certain amount of time and this now is not going to work anymore? We will reschedule. It is such a gift of time for me when someone's plans change in the work setting. Do you hear me? I view my plans changing for work as a gift of time that I did not expect. Why in the world can I not apply that at home? That is a great question. If you have any insight on that, send it my way. Yet it's something I am going to sit in. It is something that I want to work on. The example that I will now share happened a week ago. A week ago, which shows me my anger, man, that inside out little character of anger is flaming red today and it's got fire, steam, all of it. And that happened a week ago. Jeremy has a work schedule that is a gift to our family in the sense of he goes to work super early, but yet he is home for the kids to get off the bus. I have taken full advantage of this because now I schedule meetings a little bit later so I can help serve people. When the plan needs to be adjusted, hey, Denise, I need you to be home for the bus today. I will make it happen. I will adjust my plans because he usually asks me several days, if not a week ahead of time. I appreciate that. So that happened last Tuesday and Jeremy needed me home because he had a meeting. I'll be there. Now I had a coaching client in that morning cancel and ask instead of this morning, can we meet this afternoon? And I couldn't because I wanted and needed to be home for the bus. Okay, well, when you're an entrepreneur and you can't reschedule meetings that already have a price tag associated to them, you don't get income off of that. I'm sure you can sense my frustration nonetheless. I'm home. For when the bus gets there, Jeremy is also home. And I'm very confused. And he goes, oh, my meeting's not until 3.30. I said, oh, yes, man, it would be nice if that was on the calendar. Uh huh. Looking at you, man. And he goes, oh, here it is. And he pulls up the text message and he reads this aloud to me from the text message and said, we will meet at three thirty on this date. Do you know when that date was? I bet you can imagine that it is not the date that I was currently home. And I said, Jeremy, that is tomorrow. He looked at me and he goes, you are kidding. I said, in a anger state. I've canceled a meeting for this because you didn't put it on the calendar because you all of these things pointing a finger, right? Because my plans changed for home. The next day, the day before podcast launch of Working Moms Redefined, he did it again. Guys, at this point, I am fuming. It is three thirty in the afternoon. I needed to be home remember because that meeting got moved and so I was home again. The Angst in my voice is really apparent right now. I apparently need to work through this some more. Nonetheless, I was home. He left for the meeting. He came back. The kids and I were playing. I was working on some last minute things because we all know that the day before something happens is the day in which All of the stuff comes to fruition in, uh, in the regards of I need this done. So as I was thinking, okay, when am I going to get this done? I'll do it because Jeremy also has a meeting tonight after the kids go to bed and I will have two to three hours of uninterrupted work time. It'll work just fine. So as he returned back from his meeting that was set from three thirty from the day prior, that is now today. He looked at me and he said, hey, before the fire meeting tonight, can we come and get some pictures? And I said, what? He said, we need some updated photos of the chief and the assistant fire chiefs and of the fire trucks. Guys, it's cold outside. Snowing, spitting, sleeting all day long. And I said, I looked at him and I said, Tonight, like in two hours, you want to go do this in two hours. He was like, yeah, right. I said. No, I was not ready. I was not prepared for this. I had literally taken photos for two hours in that morning for another client also, but he didn't know that. And I started questioning. I started saying, why is this necessary? Why are we needing to go get these photos taken? You don't even use them. What are you needing them for? I have to go outside. I was so angry and self-centered that It is very hard for me not to judge myself as I look back. It is very hard. I know that I'm hard on myself, but as I look back, I was, I was mean. I was really looking forward to working by myself. Taking a hot shower, taking my bra off, and being done at five o'clock. And now my plans changed. I was angry. So instead... I said, okay, I'm gonna have to adjust my things. I have to adjust when I'm going to do things. Was it really that big of a deal? No, I was mad that I didn't know about it. And then I asked a silly question of how long have you been known about this? And he said a couple days. And I said, you're just now thinking about sharing? What? And again, I referenced the conversation from the day before. We literally just talked about this. Put it on the calendar. He took it like a champ. I was mad. And he took it like a champ. It was mean. I was mean. It goes back to the lack of Of control. I didn't know the plans and my plans got changed. And when that happens, I have to trust that someone will take care of it. And in instances, these two days, they couldn't take care of it. Right. That's where that lack of trust comes in. Of course, I shared all of this because at this point in our marriage, I understand that if I don't share it. It is going to come up twenty-five days later and I'm going to remember all of the details. You're laughing because that's probably you as well. So as we bundle up and get ready to go take photos, I said, man, I'm gonna have to wear my winter boots again, I put them away, I I have to wear my winter boots and I didn't change it because I didn't get to shower. The kids all have their wacky clothes on and Hudson comes up to me and he goes, should I change into fancy clothes? And I said, no, why? Why would we need to change into fancy clothes? He goes, I just wanted to look good. I said, you do look good. Let's go because I'm irritated at this point. I want to get them done and I want to get back home. And so as we are driving to. Said firehouse. He calls me. We're about a block away. And he goes, hey, I'm going to pull over. My truck's doing funky things. And I lost it, guys. I said, Jeremy? I can see the fire station parking lot. It is less than a block away. Why don't you just get there and pull over? And he goes, it's sounding really bad. I got to do it here. Goodness, I just want to take my bro off, right? I just, I, I, do you notice how many eyes? I don't love that. I'm not like that. Yet in these situations, the little girl in me that has some anger, apparently, comes back out raging. So as we turn that corner, I see a team member's car of mine behind a client's car. And I, for a hot second, freaked out. I said, what did I miss? Holy cow. What were we supposed to do something? Am I missing? What did I miss? And then Jeremy's like, go ahead and pull behind me. And I said, okay. And I, I do a UE in the center of town because when it's a town of 900 people, you don't have to worry about much. And then I see a parking lot full of vehicles. And I was like, man, I really did miss something. And then I saw who these vehicles were. They were friends. They were family. They were team members. They were clients. My mouth went dry. And I was still on the phone with Jeremy at that time. And I remember saying no. No way. My winter boots are on and you know me. I love heels. I had a top knot. Was not prepared for what was inside that building. I was prepared for firehouse photos that I was ticked about taking. And as I get out of the car, I said, what is this? What is this? And he goes, you need to come inside. And I was so taken back. And stunned because when I opened those doors, you guys, friends, family, they have planned a surprise podcast launch party for me. And I get so emotional because there was joy removed from that experience because I was mad about my plans changing. Who am I to think that my plans are the only plans because I have done a better job of letting other people in I can trust that they will celebrate me. I can trust that they love and care for me so much in ways that when I finally let go, I let them shine. Yet with my partner and sometimes the kids, I can't do it for them. Because I know that things function better when I do. But do they? So as I walk into this room and so many beautiful faces who mean so much to me. Looked at me and yelled surprise. There were balloons. There were the podcast episodes. There were cupcakes with our logo on them. And there were hugs. Hugs from people. Who I have gotten to live life with over these years. It was beautiful. I was stunned to my core. As you can imagine, when you're the planner, surprises don't happen. Often, I should say. And I got to see what it was like to let go, to let them shine. It was a beautiful gift from so many people. But man, if I didn't realize who my people were and when you show up authentically as who you are without preparation, without Expectations without a desire to let your guard down to let them in. It lost. I would have lost that experience. I would have lost. I can think of times where even a girl, a group of girlfriends a month ago, we were meeting and we were going to plan our next outing together. And I was like, great. What works for you? And we were We weren't even going to have it. I started planning someone else's event at their own house. And one of my good friends, several, I mean, there were six women around that table. They looked at me and they said, Denise, you don't have to do it. And it wasn't that they were mad at me by any means. It was let us so we can shine. And I apply that back to the podcast launch party that such a good girlfriend and Jeremy and A coworker planned. They put together people whose lives have intersected with mine, who they know would want to celebrate and be part of this experience. And just like Sarah had said the Monday before when I told her I have a hard time Celebrating myself, she said to me, sometimes when you let others celebrate you, it's a gift to them, not to you. They get to celebrate and take part in a beautiful experience with you and you gave that to them. So when you let and celebrate with others, they grow in relationship with you. They trust you more because you've let them in. That was a Monday. This podcast launch party. I said that funny. That podcast launch party was Wednesday. I got a smack face example of what it looks like. And as I left there, I had several people who are close to me. They're like, you are at a loss of words. And I, one of my girlfriends said it best. She's stunned. This is new. And she looked at me and she said, I hope I'm going to tear up again. I hope that you can look at this and realize that you plan and control a lot of good things, right? And she meant it so intentionally and so full of goodness. She goes, but it's okay to not have to plan at all. She's so right. She was so right. So what are you planning? Or what are you doing really? That if you chose to give yourself a gift, to not put so much pressure on yourself, that ultimately goes to that mom guilt that so many of us feel. What if you gave yourself the gift of letting it go a little bit more? One of my biggest goals this year was I wanted the kids to feel fun and vice versa. I wanted to feel more fun with the kids. They're at a point where discipline is happening less and less. They're wanting to figure out their own ways in life and I want to let them and that comes with a lack of I mean, I have a lack of ability in myself and trust in myself to know that I can do it. Yet, why not try, right? Because you never know who is wanting to throw you a party. You never know who might want to have that one-on-one lunch with you because you put down your fear of rejection. You never know who might want that relationship with you if you were to put down that fear of, man, I wonder what they think of me. Create the relationship for me. I need to let go of control so that I can let others feel like they have a part of my story because my story is only mine and is only beautiful and is only joy filled. With them in it. Man, it's so enlightening. This whole experience has been so enlightening. And I want to make it very clear as I try to stuff down these tears, right? I want to make it very clear that we are in this together. We are experiencing these hardships and these joys and the beauties of what life looks like together. In community, in an openness that only comes through vulnerability. And in my situation, I say it so often. I do not take it lightly that you are trusting to spend and dedicate time with me by listening to these episodes. Why would I not give others and you the same amount of trust? So as we move forward in what is working moms redefined and what will be I'm going to lean into trust more, whether that's in our heavenly father, in my marriage, in my friendships, in my work and their ability team members wise, I'm going to lean into trust. Cause it's going to challenge me and that it is a gift to both the other person and myself if and when I actually do. As we part ways today, what is it that you can maybe challenge yourself with? Don't think that you have to change who you are or what you do each and every day. But give yourself permission to know that it's okay to reflect and see if maybe there is an opportunity for growth that you and only you can identify. And then ask some people, hey. I have been struggling with the fact that I realized that lack of control, having a lack of control is a problem. Or is it area of opportunity for me? What are your thoughts? When you ask them that, you give them permission because you trust them enough to take care of you. You will hear true answers that will benefit you today, tomorrow, and for years to come. I can guarantee it. I did this today. I did it when I asked, where do you think I have some blind spots? And I screenshot those. I screenshot them because I'm going to save those because in a year from now, I'm going to look back at this moment as I hope you do as well. And think to myself, I've gotten better. I am enough today. You are enough today. You are doing a great job. And we are going to be doing an even better job in a year from now. But we will be doing it together. And I can't wait to see what comes of it. Thank you for listening to this episode of the Working Moms Redefined Podcast. We are so glad that you are here investing time into you to learn how you can empower yourself to let that mom guilt hold less power. Thrive in your career and raise great kids. You are doing so well. And if you want to remind someone else that they are doing a great job too, we would be honored if you would share this episode with them. Connect with us on YouTube and follow us on social so we can create that community that so many of us crave and need. And remember, you can do hard things.
